Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
