What did we do last night that was yellow?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
