I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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