She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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