Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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