if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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