How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
