We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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