yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
