the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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