I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
