So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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