i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
