yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
