I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
