So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Your cock deserves a montage
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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