It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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