I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
