singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The power of my boobs compel you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize