And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
