I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
