I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
