We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
