That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Randomize
