We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
