Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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