I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
