I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
