so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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