we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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