this beer tastes like vomit already
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize