the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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