so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
