margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
