i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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