I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
