Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
