im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
