Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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