Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
