He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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