Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
