This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
