I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
