tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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