the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
high people should be assigned attendants
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
