Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dignity is for republicans.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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