so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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