I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
