So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
