He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
