I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
