their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
