This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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