the condom got lost in my hair
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
