i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
