you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
