Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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