there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
