champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I got inside last night via doggy door
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
