he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
