Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
