We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize