hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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