census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
